GRACE GARDINER
WRITERABOUT:
Naz is currently standing behind me with a gun to my head making me write a bio for the Monster Children contributor page. I’m very grateful to be considered a contributor since all I have done is make playlists and send pitches like “please let my friend and I go to the Westminster Dog Show and ask dogs what their favorite midwest emo bands are.” I’ve been reading Monster Children and listening to their playlists since I was 18 years old and even though I sound very annoyed I am actually over the moon to be working with them.
I have a list of things about myself that I tell people at castings to make them think I am interesting and not “just a model” but since I am trying to lie less I will not try to convince you that I have a vegetable garden on my roof or volunteer at an animal shelter or that I am not “just a model”. Instead I asked my friend and occasional employer who I think knows me pretty well if she could think of any good talking points for this bio. She is luckily not trying to lie less.
My deep voice doesn’t match who you think I am.
Gritty witty and a good time.
I don’t care if you see my boobs.
I can cross country ski.
My dad owns the gun Ernest Hemingway killed himself with.
I can eradicate head lice.
I have a Picasso in my bathroom, next to my toilet.
I love Tennessee.
My second toe is not longer than my first.
I can drink 3 vodka martinis back to back without puking or blacking out.
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