When I was twenty, my mother called to ask what I wanted for Christmas.
Back then, I was spending an enormous amount of time smoking marijuana and dying my hair, which is why when Christmas came and my parents presented me with a black t-shirt that read ‘FISH SHIT’ in iron-on letters, I had no idea what was going on. ‘This is what you asked for,’ my mother barely said because she was in hysterics (as was my father). ‘I didn’t ask for this,’ I said, and then, ‘is this the nickname you use behind my back?’ My parents stopped laughing and looked confused. It took about fifteen minutes, but we got to the bottom of it. Evidently, I’d asked for a t-shirt that read ‘Golf is Shit’ (because I was high and that seemed funny at the time), but my mother misheard me and now I owned the world’s first ‘FISH SHIT’ t-shirt. Several years later, when the ‘FISH SHIT’ shirt had mysteriously disappeared like all t-shirts do, I was in a café in Melbourne and a waiter was wearing it. I asked where he’d got the t-shirt and he said his sister had found it under her bed and given it to him. He was a burly fellow, so I just said, ‘Weird.’ He nodded. ‘I know. Maybe it’s a band or something.’
Tiger is a two-part documentary that charts the rise and fall and rise of the man who redefined golf and its place in American sports. It comes out on HBO in January 2021, and judging by the trailer, it’s going to be as good, if not better than, as the Michael Jordan doco. In the meantime, check the trailer above and keep practising your swing.