Tonight’s Super Flower Blood Moon Will End Your Relationship

By definition, a lunatic is someone who is driven mad by Luna, aka the Moon.

And when the Moon is full, people go mental. This is a scientific fact. The world’s police forces schedule more officers on the night of a full moon because the general public tends to go nuts. Have you ever gone out and had the night of your life only to discover the Moon had been full? That’s lunacy. Mild lunacy. But tonight’s total lunar eclipse and Super Flower Blood Moon (in Sagittarius) is going to be one of the most powerful we’ve ever seen, and chances are a lot of people aren’t going to have the night of their life—they’re going to be murdered with fishing line around the neck.

Well, maybe not murdered, but there will be break-ups. Or so say the wankers at In a post titled Super Blood Moon will cause a lot of relationships to break-up, Shireen Khalil spoke with ‘intuitive astrologer and spiritual adviser’ Rose Smith, who believes a great deal of shit, blood and caked hair is going to hit the fan this eve.

‘Full moons ordinarily can bring out the “crazy” in people,’ said Smith, ‘but we can expect people doing crazier things than usual—and this can be attributed to pent up emotional tension. People should be trying to release this tension around the Super Blood Moon in healthy ways, sitting with their feelings and endeavouring not to deny them—especially women, generally speaking, traditionally we hold in emotion and make excuses for other people.’

Smith also went on to say that tonight’s lunar event will be particularly rancid for Aries’, Leos and Sigittariuseseses. ‘Fire signs are going to be more affected than the rest of us, but we will all be affected in some way,’ she said, and then presumably took another huff on her bag filled with chrome spraypaint. Good luck, everyone!

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