The Goon Saloon Debacle


Words by Helena Gaar, photos by Morgan Rindengan

What a beating everyone on Earth has taken this week (year?)

Thankfully, the timing could not be better for us to release probably the silliest thing we’ve ever created. No hyperbole here. If this masterpiece doesn’t take your mind off of our aggravating reality even for a minute, we will accept defeat and go back to making slightly more serious things and talking about the election. Actually, we probably won’t do that. We will, however, take note of your lack of sense of humour and remember that forever.

Let’s get you up to speed here. Earlier this year, we housed our recently-homeless friends Wizard of Barge and Crocodile Jackson because their moms had kicked them out of their childhood bedrooms. It was about time they moved out if you ask me, but a whole drama ensued (you can watch this novela unfold via our gallery’s Instagram IGTV). Since they were already living in our gallery, we forced them to create some art in exchange for the rent they couldn’t pay. It was a good deal, but they failed terribly and it was not worth our while.

They decided to open a bar inside our space. During a pandemic. A terrible idea. No wonder their moms didn’t want anything to do with them, right? But aside from that, the art they created was really wonderful… and the only reason we’re still friends.

When these failed ‘bartists’ eventually opened their art show/bar, The Goon Saloon, the city health inspectors (AKA our friend and artist, Moldazor) came to ruin the day. Wizard and Crocodile should have stuck to making art, because they are really really good at it and their art show almost sold out. We do hope they learned a lesson here, but more importantly, write us that check to cover the rent.

Sadly, The Goon Saloon is now closed for viewing in person, but it lives forever in the ether of the internet. If you happened to see an art piece you’d like, or just want to check out some merch from these goons, hit up Crocodile Jackson and Wizard of Barge (and Moldazor too!) on their sites individually for more information.

Now, on a more serious note: Thank you Pabst Blue Ribbon, from the bottom of both our hearts and our livers, for letting us be silly and drink beer like the world isn’t ending.

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