Hello, and welcome to today’s installment of The Good News.
Before we get started, I want to talk about something serious. We all know about the massive surge in pet adoptions. It’s happening everywhere. Every time I look out my window I see someone walking a puppy, which is nice. But guess what else I see out my window? I see dog shit. Lots and lots of dig shit. People aren’t picking up after their recently acquired dogs. Now, this could either be because they’re new pet owners and don’t know all the dog shit rules yet, or they’re just assholes who don’t care because, hey, it’s not like there’s many people around anyway. Wrong. I’m around. And I have a slug gun. Let’s get into that GOOD NEWS!
Animals. They’re coming into our towns and cities because we’re not out there to throw rocks at them. It’s crazy. Look at this herd of goats that decided to cruise the streets of Llandudno, a coastal town in Wales. Mental.
I think I just got a group of goats in Llandudno arrested.
Let me explain… first, I saw this from inside a dark pub (the one I live in currently). I thought I was seeing things. So I took some video: pic.twitter.com/RtxYG6htLC
— Andrew Stuart (@AndrewStuart) March 27, 2020
In other news: Nick Cave has written a thoughtful and even-minded response to the question ‘What do we do now’ on his Dear Abby blog, the Red Right Hand Files. ‘We should be careful about the noises we make,’ he says, ‘and should not pretend to know what we do not. From within the clamour and tonnage of information and misinformation, of opinions and counter-opinions, of blame-games and grim prophecy and the most panic-inducing version of ‘Imagine’ ever recorded, emerges a simple message—wash your hands and (if you can) stay at home.’ Read the whole thang here. And then watch the video for my personal favorite Bad Seeds song below.
Speaking of that ‘Imagine’ video that makes me want to kill, there was a terrific op-ed in The New York Times yesterday by Amanda Hess. Here’s a snippet:
‘Staying home is my superpower,’ the ‘Wonder Woman’ star Gal Gadot reported from her walk-in closet. Ryan Reynolds urged his fans to ‘work together to flatten the curve’ from within his rustic loft. When Jennifer Lopez posted a video of her family sheltering in the backyard of Alex Rodriguez’s vast Miami compound, the public snapped.
‘We all hate you…’
Brutal and true. Naomi Watts, however, gets a pass. She smiled at me in the Houston Street Whole Foods on October 15, 2013, at approximately 2:47 pm. Please contact John Freeman for verification: 917-869-8060
A movie theater in Schertz, Texas shut down a few weeks ago, and this week they decided to turn their outside wall and parking lot into a drive-in with free screenings and take out food for sale. Tickets (car spaces) were snapped up instantly and now extra showtimes are being added to the schedule. Talk about taking a big of lemons and making some lemonade! Well done, Texan movie theatre!
Last bit of Good News for the day: New Balance just became the best sports shoe brand in the world. According to their press release, the brand is ‘producing prototypes for face masks in our Lawrence, MA manufacturing facility and hope to scale production using (their) other New England factories soon.’ New Balance is coordinating its efforts with government officials and local medical institutions as well as other U.S. consortiums and testing facilities. Amazing. Whatchoo got, Nike? See y’all tomorrow for more GOOD NEWS.
All hands on deck. Our U.S. factories are working to develop, manufacture and deliver facial masks to the hospital community.
— New Balance (@newbalance) March 28, 2020