The Good News: Sunday

I skipped yesterday’s Good News. I need at least one day for chocolate and masturbating. Plus I went and bought a cat.

That’s a bit of my own personal good news. I’ve only been working at home for a week and already I need a little buddy. He looks like a leopard and his name is Huey. I’ve taken to calling him Schooey because I’m thirsty. Let get into today’s Good News.

First up: an asteroid named ‘Asteroid (52768) 1998 OR2’ will approach Earth on April 29 and… TOTALLY MISS US! Don’t believe what the dickheads and weirdos have been writing on the internet—it won’t even mess up our hair. The massive space rock has an estimated diameter of 1.8 to 4.1 kilometers (1.1 to 2.5 miles), which roughly the size of Manhattan. Crazy.

The closure of Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium has meant penguins are now able to cruise around like humans and marvel at the fish. Is this pandemic the best thing to ever happen to animals or what? It’s Insane. Dolphins are swimming in the canals of Venice and parrots are finally rolling their own joints. It’s fantastic.


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The content we didn’t know we needed. 🐧


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Country and Western legend Kenny Rogers died of natural causes yesterday at age 81, which is Good News because he had an amazing life and he’s checking out before shit gets too hectic. Rogers was best known for ‘Coward of the County’ (a song about punching on), ‘Lady’ (a song about a lady) and ‘The Gambler’ (a song about knowing when to hold ’em, when to fold ’em, when to walk away, and when to run). Rest in peace, KG, and thanks for amazing tunes.

Brooklyn-based photographer Jeremy Cohen has begun documenting New Yorkers on their roofs during the lockdown. Very interesting things happen on New York rooftops. I once saw a porn film being made on one in Greenpoint. True. Anyways, worth a look and a follow. Someone tell the dude in the stripey shirt to read The Good News. He needs it. Cheer up, beatnik.

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Roof Culture during quarantine (part 1)⁣ ⁣ The culture of roof activity in New York is changing in this time of social distancing. My Brooklyn apartment building towers over every other building in the neighborhood (which I like to brag about as a short person who’s never experienced this feeling). From my high-floor window, I see a whole new canvas. ⁣ ⁣ I started taking iPhone clips of people on their roof working out, doing yoga, reading, meditating, working, working out, eating, and napping. Everyone following my IG story seemed to be invested in each update of roof activity I was posting. Every time I look out my window, I see new people doing new and different things. To take this idea to the next level, I needed a zoom lens. I pitched this project to my friends at @bhphoto and the next day they lent me the 100-400mm @sonyalpha lens.⁣ ⁣ More photos and words from this series coming soon! In the meantime, I’m looking to pitch this series to publications. If anyone has any leads or is interested in publishing, dm me!

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Sam Smith has been nominated for a ‘Most Insufferable Celebrity Dickhead’ award at a rotten fruit and jeering ceremony planned for when this virus thing is over. Congrats, Sam!


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Stages of a quarantine meltdown

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In what is perhaps the best news you will ever read in your life, it turns out that YOU do not live in the apartment below. I recommend printing this piece of GOOD NEWS out and sticking it on the fridge as a reminder.

And finally, COVID-19 testing looks a lot easier than getting tested for prostate cancer, so that’s good. See you tomorrow for more Good News!

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