Welcome to The Good News for Sunday, the day we thank Jesus and his Dad for giving us opposable thumbs.
This one is going to be a bit of mixed-bag. Little less ‘good news’ and a little more ‘I like this stuff.’ Hope you don’t mind. It is Sunday, so… Here’s some Good News: Cats! You don’t need one. Take it from me, they’re a nightmare. As I’m writing this, the kitten I acquired last week to keep me company during lockdown is trying to walk on this keyboard. My apartment is full of things to walk on and yet he absolutely must walk on this keyboard. Here’s what happens when I stop gently pushing him away ko[k,opm ;kk;arp0 That was him. He sleeps from noon till 8 pm every day, at which point his ears go back and he starts hunting me until dawn. His name is Hewy and he’s very lucky he was born cute because I would’ve put him in the oven with the gas running days ago. Let’s check out today’s Good News real quick.
Here’s some amazingly Good News: James Dyson of Dyson vacuum cleaners sat down in his office for ten days and invented a new kind of ventilator after receiving a personal call from The Big B.J. (Boris Johnson). Johnson informed Dyson that the UK needed ventilators, and Dyson and his crew got to work. According to Dyson, ‘the core challenge was how to design and deliver a new, sophisticated medical product in volume and in an extremely short space of time. The race is now on to get it into production.’ Dyson is donating 5,000 of the new ventilators internationally, and the UK government has pre-ordered the first 10,000 off the production line. Good News!
This is really beautiful. The Italian Air Force lifting the spirits of its people. That’s nice. Don’t get any ideas, though, RAAF. Our version would more than likely involve ‘Come On Aussie’ or Daryl Braithwaite’s ‘The Horses’, and I for one would rather listen to the sound of nails going through my scrotum and into a grand piano.
Here’s some great news that you probably already know about because you’re all over everything like a bad suit: we’ve got a new series up on Instagram called Gone Viral. Basically, we’re just calling up our mates and seeing how they’re doing right now with the whole self-isolation thing. Below is the one we did with Dunni. Coming up this week: Dion Agius, Kate Bellm and Keanu Reeves (Keanu unconfirmed; confident he’ll see my DMs tho)
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New York photographer Jeremy Cohen has fallen in love. He saw a girl dancing on her rooftop and droned his phone number to her… and now they’ve been on a date. I’m assuming this is legit, but even if it isn’t, it’s still really cool. Watch below and then go to Jeremy’s Twitter for the follow-ups.
How to date during Quarantine (PART 3) pic.twitter.com/2ER4UX4FN0
— Jeremy Cohen (@jerm_cohen) March 27, 2020
And now for today’s last bit of Good News: reading is going to get you through this better than any other form of entertainment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch that fucking tiger documentary no one will shut up about, I’m just saying you wanna balance your screen time with some reading. Turn off your music, put your phone on silent, make a cup of tea and start reading. It’s the best. For some reason, I’m revisiting Kerouac after more years than I’ll ever admit. I got into him and the other beat writers when I was about 16—17. I was going through an excruciating, deeply-affected Doors stage at the time, and I read that one of Jim Morrison’s favourite books was Kerouac’s On The Road. So I ordered a copy at the book shop in my small town of Echuca in Victoria. Three months later, On The Road arrived on the back of a mule and nothing was ever the same. The world opened up for me. I suddenly realized that there was more to books than just Stephen King, Jackie Collins and whatever else lived on the bookshelf in my family home, and that maybe, just maybe, I could one day be a writer and work at an independent youth culture rag and get paid to ramble on about myself. All my Kerouac books are long gone, so last week I got a copy of The Portable Jack Kerouac, an anthology painstakingly stitched together by the great Ann Charters. So, I guess I’m getting back to my roots. Anyway, Good News, you can read your way through this. Here’s Jack reading on the Steve Alen show in 1959. See you tomorrow. x Crom