Scotty: No More Sexual Harassment Exemption for Politicians


No more letting legislators, judges and public servants sexually harass coworkers with impunity! Hear-hear, Scotty!

What a guy. Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced that his government plans to overhaul the sexual discrimination laws to make all the little piggies in Canberra accountable for their actions when it comes to sexual harassment in Parliament’s hallowed halls. ‘Sexual harassment is unacceptable,’ said the absolute fucking legend of a bloke. ‘It’s not only immoral and despicable and even criminal, but (pause to sadly shake head) it denies Australians, especially women, not just their personal security but their economic security by not being safe at work.’

Currently and incredibly, legislators, judges and public servants are exempt from complaints regarding workplace gender discrimination, because of a legal loophole. But Scott—who is not a cunt, thank you very much—plans to tighten that loophole until it isn’t a loophole at all; if anything it’ll be a balloon knot. ‘Last year, we were very focused on those very urgent needs to protect women at a time when they were very vulnerable during COVID,’ said the ripper bloke. ‘We put the additional resources in and now we’re in a position to address these more systemic and longer-term issues which are very important and I’m pleased we’re able to do that today.’ Talk about a man of action! We were impressed when he demoted alleged rapist cabinet minister Christian Porter last month, but now he’s taking steps to curb the behaviour of the oily boy’s club bastards who wind up in Canberra.

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