Hey, Wim Hof. Save Some Shakas For the Rest of Us

Is Wim Hof throwing too many shakas?

With his whole sleeping in an esky and eating rocks for breakfast thing, Hof is easily the most amazing dude who ever lived, but many are asking if his shaka game is overcooked.

Big wave surfer Laird Hamilton is deeply concerned and says that while Hof is a nice person, he does pose a threat to the mahalo vibes. ‘He’s a great bloke and everything, but he’s going to ruin it for everyone if he throws a shaka every thirty fuckin’ seconds.’ Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder, who was found curled up in a papasan at Kelly Slater’s house, agrees: ‘Look, I love Wim. He’s a deadset legend. But there’s a distinct possibility that we might not be able to hang loose by 2021 if he keeps it up.’ Super-producer Rick Ruben has also expressed concern, suggesting that perhaps an intervention is needed. ‘Someone needs to say something to that silly Dutch ball-bag—he’s group-texting pictures of his hand every morning!’

Since January 1st of this year, Wim Hof has thrown a staggering 753,000 shakas with no end in sight.

Warning: some viewers may find the below images disturbing.

Rick Ruben: ‘Someone needs to say something.’
A lady pretends everything is okay.
Friends have begun folding in their pinky in the hope Hof will follow suit.
The face of fear.
A friend reluctantly supports Hof and his shakafliction.
Not great.
Another pinky withheld, but will Hof get the hint?
A ferocious shaka foul.
sneaking one over the shoulder like an alcoholic but for shakas.
The Hof Man hurls another one. Tragic.
Here we see Hof fully extending a pinky in an attempt to make up for his friend’s pinky retraction. Sad.
No one is safe: Oprah has her mahalo vibes extracted by force.
Brand: devastated.
Hof takes a big shaka-shit on a podcast recently.
Hamilton: ‘He’s a nice bloke and everything, but he’s going to ruin it for everyone.’
A weapon in flip-flops tries to smile.
The colour of ball-bags and hanging just as loose. Hectic.
This one needs some zink on it.
More distracting footwear to hide the shame.
Smiling through the torture.


Sign up for the Monster Children Newsletter