Heaps Normal Want You to Do Your Best


Scheduling a break from the booze is never a bad thing, but what’s wrong with just doing your best?

Here’s a time I did my best: I was six years old and had just changed schools. In a bid to make friends at my new school, I drew a picture of the bass player from KIϟϟ, Gene Simmons. Normally, small children draw a circle for a human face and then fill in the details, but I wanted to really impress my classmates, so I attempted to draw a realistic, three-dimensional face but wound up creating a hideous KIϟϟ Picasso. When I was finished, I showed a boy and he said it was ‘fucking shit’ and that I should ‘fuck off’ back to the school from whence I came. The other children laughed and I was shamed. But you know what? I’d done best, and that was all that mattered.

When you decide to have a break from drinking, the intention is always to do your best, but if you’re not doing it for the right reasons, you can set yourself up for failure. Like me, you might announce a future date when you’ll have your next drink, then go about gritting your teeth and feeling like you’re missing out every day until it’s over. Will remaining sober become a painful test of will, where you beat yourself up for failing and really tie one on? On the flipside, if winning that bet with yourself earns you the ‘reward’ of getting absolutely belted, are you really winning?

Now, the last thing we’d ever want to do is discourage anyone from having a break from the drink, because it’s only ever a good thing when you give your body a rest from processing alcohol. But what’s wrong with just doing your best year-round? Thank fuck the crew at Heaps Normal get it. Instead of hitting pause for four weeks and then celebrating with a hangover that feels like Satan used you for a Q-tip, maybe just do your best by coming at it from a different and more achievable angle.

There’s an old saying that if you drink a glass of water between beers, you’ll be the smartest person in the room, and that’s very true. You’ll also wake up feeling less like a sasquatch jumped on your head. Water, though, it’s flavourless; technically, it’s the flavour of water, but it’s still pretty meh when you’re having a few beers. So, how about punctuating a session on the tins with something that tastes like beer but has the same alcohol content as water? Fuck me! That’s a good idea!

This is where Heaps Normal comes in. They want you to do your best, and right now they’re giving away a van loaded with surf stuff, skate stuff, Monster Children stuff, and a bunch of other stuff (and a fucking van!) to the person with the best story about doing your best. It doesn’t have to be booze-related; it just has to be about a time in your life when you did your best—like my dumb KIϟϟ story.

Enter your ‘I did my best’ story here!

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