Election Update (week) 3

Soooooo our U.S. election was, let’s see, 17 days ago.

The winner—Joe Biden, in case you’re stuck in the wrong echo chamber—was announced 13 days ago. As of today, Biden holds 290 of the required 270 electoral votes to win the race, greatly outpacing Trump’s 232. Biden also amassed 6 million more popular votes than Trump. Seems clear cut, no?

Well, not if you’re a perpetually losing narcissist surrounded by rabid yes men (and women) with everything (‘wealth,’ reputation, ego, maybe even personal freedom) on the line. Somehow, despite the glaring simplicity of results and a statement from the federal government’s own Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency declaring this ‘the cleanest election ever,’ our petulant clown of a president and his death cult party are still crying foul and refusing to admit defeat.

Never mind that Trump’s spurious election fraud lawsuits are being thrown out of courts faster than he can find lawyers crooked and money-hungry enough to file them. Never mind that this charade stalls the Biden administration from beginning the transfer of power—including vital security briefings. Never mind that the Trump administration’s COVID vaccine team has said that not only have they not working with the incoming administration on how to distribute an allegedly imminent vaccine, they’re also ‘not going to.’ Never mind said virus has now claimed 251,194 American lives and is spreading unchecked like wildfire in wine country across the nation.

None of this matters to Trump and his lackeys.

Nothing—not American lives, not our nation’s safety, not self-respect—none of it matters. All that matters is personal power and their evil overarching plot to rape our planet and its people until we’re all withered husks sucked dry of anything to leech. Nothing matters but power, money and making sure their vile sex offending figurehead doesn’t hear anything that makes him a little unhappy, god forbid any truth be uttered within those halls of power.

To be honest, for the first few days his election result resistance seemed like theatre, a way for Trump to plot an exit and save face. Surely even a blustery buffoon like him had to see he’d been beaten, right? Now, I’m not so sure. He’s still throwing a full-on tantrum at the results, refusing to accept the only vast conspiracy to steal the election from him came from millions of American’s legal votes because we’re fucking fed up with his—and his followers—hate-sharting fuckery parade.

Spewing outright lies about election fraud through every mouthpiece he commands, Trump is not going quietly. Instead, he’s hanging on for dear life with his tiny crusty fingernails, raking our democracy bloody and putrescent while scrabbling to stay on top. Now that his lawsuits are clearly hollow, he’s resorted to inviting GOP lawmakers from Michigan to an audience at the White House in hopes of persuading them not to certify their state’s results, in effect asking them to act as infantry in his coup to overthrow our government.

What am I talking about?

You see, the deadlines for states to certify their election results are looming in the coming days. Once certified, they can’t be disputed or turned back, which essentially sets in stone Trump’s defeat. Even Mitch McConnel has indicated the election is over when this happens. This leaves Trump two Hail Mary options: one, that he gets key states not to certify. Two, should they all be certified, that Republican legislatures in those states appoint their own loyal electors to vote against the will of the people, a move many see as legally dubious and unlikely. Of course, ‘legally dubious’ and ‘against the will of the people’ hasn’t stopped the GOP before when it comes to gerrymandering their way into minority rule, so we’ll see.

Thus far, the level of duplicity and outright rat-fuckery displayed by Republicans in the wake of losing the election has reached a point that defies droning detailed descriptions at risk of boring our readers. But, should you be interested in particulars, any trustworthy news outlet has many thousands of words to consume on the subject.

So, where do things stand? It’s hard to say.

Does it still look like Biden et al will move into the White House in January? Yeah, absolutely, unless the American system and culture are so completely shattered there’s no salvaging it. Which, I guess, remains to be seen. Either way, Trump and his cadre of money-sucking ghouls aren’t gonna go quietly. In the past few days, they’ve moved to open the Arctic Wildlife Refuge up to oil prospecting, rammed three more federal executions onto the pre-inauguration calendar, and essentially ignored the spread of COVID, which is currently infecting 173,000 Americans a day, and rising.


This leaves just one last thing to worry about before your hard-earned weekend. Georgia, where races were too close to call, is holding run-off (read: new) elections for its two senate seats. The traditionally red state swung blue for Biden and came close with its senate races. Now, those two seats are all that stand between either party holding control. For Democrats, this would essentially give them full control of the government, while for Republicans it would be their only check against a massive wave of liberal policy. As such, the full attention of both party’s is focused on the southern state, which has seen a sudden influx of more than $125 million in political spending in just the past two weeks.

‘Everybody’s hopped up with the U.S. Senate on the line and in many ways the fate of the presidency and the courts,’ Ralph Reed, the founder of a Georgia conservative organization told the New York Times, predicting with ‘more than a little hyperbole’ that $500 million could be spent on the election, adding, ‘It’s crazytown.’

With an election date of January 5, it’s sure to be an annoying holiday season for any Georgians who are sick of politics, and an anxious one for any of the rest of us who care about the future.


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