Borat 2: The Spoilers

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan has been out for three days now and pretty much everyone has seen it.

And that’s why I feel like it’s okay for me to talk about my favourite bits. I loved the whole film (so much better than On The Rocks, not that that’s saying anything), but there were definitely parts that made me laugh/cringe harder than others. If you haven’t seen it but intend to see it, stop reading now. This whole article is one big, fat spoiler and you really need to go watch the film. You already know about the bit with Rudy Giuliani (which is beyond damning), and that’s enough. So, stop reading, otherwise keep reading and enjoy remembering these five classic scenes from the movie we all watched in the last 72 hours.

The Opening Scene with Borat in the Gulag: At the start of the film we find Borat in chains and digging a hole in Kazak gulag. His hair has grown out into a ratty afro and he looks terrible. The camera pauses on him and the voiceover begins: Jangshemash. My name a Borat. My life is nice. NOT! But how I end up like this? Then Borat explains what has happened to him since the release of the first Borat movie. We’re less than one minute into the film and I’m already dead.

Borat Is Informed That the Holocaust Never Happened: This scene absolutely killed me. I had to stop the film and leave the room to get my breath back. Then I watched it three times over. In a nutshell, Borat is informed by his daughter, via Facebook, that Kazakhstan’s ‘proudest moment’, the holocaust, never really happened, and he is utterly devastated. He places a hand on his chest and begins to crumple. It’s so fucked up.

Borat’s New Friends Try to Win Back His Daughter: Borat and his daughter become estranged and Borat makes friends with two Trump-supporting QAnon believers named Jerry and Jim who invite him to stay with them. Which he does. For five days. Sasha Baron Cohen actually remained in character for five days while living with these guys. Incredible. During that time, Borat explains that if he can’t get his daughter back (and gift her to Rudi Giuliani), the Kazakhstan government will tie cows to his extremities and then dangle turnips in front of them until they pull him apart. Jerry and Jim help Borat track down his daughter, and when they finally find her, Jim tearfully explains Borat’s bovine fate if she doesn’t come back. His eyes water and his voice actually cracks. I shit my pants.

Borat And Tutar Perform A ‘Traditional Fertility Dance’: This part is second only to the Gullianai scene in terms of cringe. Borat and Tutar attend a debutante ball in the south and perform a special dance for the fifty-some people in attendance that involves Tutar holding her dress up to reveal that she is menstruating. Heavily. Not funny, just really, really, really uncomfortable. Both Cohen and Maria Bakalova (Tutar) deserve both Oscars and bravery medals for this scene. It’s bonkers.

The Infamous Giuliani Scene: By now everyone knows what happens with Rudi Giuliani. It’s insane and I can’t figure out how they got Trump’s personal lawyer and the ex-mayor of New York City in such a compromising position. I get how they set the whole thing up with the interview and stuff, but how Cohen didn’t get done for entrapment… I don’t know. I guess because technically nothing illegal happens. It’s abundantly clear with Giuliani has in mind when he agrees to ‘have a drink in the bedroom’ and then begins fondling himself in front of Borat’s 15-year-old daughter, but there’s no proving anything. As Cohen said in response to Guliani’s claim he did nothing untoward, you just gotta watch the film and judge for yourself.

Sign up for the Monster Children Newsletter