Surviving Laneway Festival

Well, well, well, would you look at that, we’ve made it to February. 

It’s the tail end of Australian summer, you’re back at work, things are going back to normal, and it’ll slowly start getting darker earlier. But what’s that flying at you like a brick about to hit the back of my head? Oh my god, it’s Australian festival season! What’s kicking it off? Laneway. The one-day festival that brings an eclectic lineup of the internet's favourite bands and musicians to your city, allowing you to see Alex G, Wet Leg, Lucy Dacus, Chapell Roan, Pink Panthress, Yung Lean, Bladee, and more perform all within the same day. Okay, awesome! 

Laneway day, no matter how exciting it is, is a big day – especially if you want to see Armlock open it up and Chapell Roan close it out – you’re going to be there for over ten hours. That’s two hours longer than a 9-5. There are also no pass-outs, so once you’re in through the pearly temporary gates, you’re shackled in for the long haul. Here are some tips and reminders to allow you to have the best time you can in festival jail. 

Save a photo of the set times

Let’s start with the easiest thing you can do before even leaving your house: Saving a photo of the set times. There's nothing worse than missing the act you really wanted to see because you weren't too sure what stage they were on or what time they were starting. Save yourself the stress of roaming around the festival looking for a poster that has the guide because the internet isn’t working; go to the Laneway website beforehand and screenshot it. You’ll thank yourself later. 

Plan your day

Spontaneity is great. I love being spontaneous. Spontaneous decisions have taken me to some of the best places I’ve ever found myself. And I’m sure you’re in the same boat, but as we all know, there are times when spontaneity is a big concrete barrier to how we imagined things to go, leading to you asking yourself, ‘Why didn’t I plan my night better?’ The festival realistically isn’t the best place for your spontaneous ‘Let’s just go and see what happens’ attitude. That attitude could be the reason you miss Oklou performing the songs from her incredibly dreamy 2025 debut album, choke enough. Make a plan, map out who you want to see and how you’ll make it to their stage in time.

Communicate with your friends

There’s a pretty good chance the internet isn’t going to work, you’re not going to be able to get any service, and your texts may struggle to even go through green. So, make sure whenever you split from your friends, you make a good plan on where and when you’re going to meet back up. As realistically, with four stages, there’s a high possibility you’re going to want to see different acts at the same time, so when that’s the case, plan exactly how you’re going to find each other again. Otherwise, you’ll be lost in festival abyss alone like a child looking for their mother in the supermarket for the rest of the day, because you wanted to watch Lucy Dacus while your friend wanted to watch The Dare cover the first track from English Post-Punk band, The Sound’s 1980 debut album, “Can’t Escape Myself”, and then try crowd surf on a bunch of 19-year-old girls. 

Skip that act

Yes, maybe you could enjoy a set from some random artist you’ve never heard of. Yes, it could change the trajectory of your life. Yes, you may never think of music, let alone life, the same way again. But the reality of that all is unlikely. Think about it, you’re standing exhausted at the back of the crowd at a festival full of people who don’t give a single shit about half the bands playing; it’s not the best environment for your life to be changed. Feel free to sit that set out, find somewhere to chill, decompress, and talk to your friends about the funny t-shirt you saw some guy wear. You’ve got one chance to see the acts you want to see, the last thing you want is to tire yourself out so much by standing up bored for three forty-minute sets you don't care about, so that you won’t be able to enjoy the bands you actually came for. 

Bring your own food

You already paid a week's rent and taken the day off work to watch the reincarnated version of The Lumineers, Mt. Joy, hoot and holler, while you’re stuck amid a sea of your city’s most chronically online waiting for your favourite Sweedes, Bladee and Yung Lean to take the stage and have their autotuned perfection blast out of the speakers. The last thing you want to do is spend an additional $30 on a shitty souvlaki that wasnt even made to order and has been sitting in a bain-marie for the last two hours. Just look at that thing, the tzatziki no longer exists, it’s soaked into the pita, one bite of that soggy mess, and you’ll be thinking and saying to your three mates all in the same shitty predicament, ‘Why the fuck did I spend $35 on that and a can of Coke?’ Pack a sandwich, or two, maybe some protein bars, I don’t know, whatever you can to not spend more money in festival jail. It’s a trap. Festival tax is real. Sneak in your drinks too, throw them under the fence for your friend who got there early, and you’ve strategically got to stand on the other side to catch them before hiding them in their pants. What have you got to lose? You get caught, they make you throw your drinks out, or you don't get caught, you get to keep your drinks and save heaps of money? Seems like pretty decent odds to me. 

Check the weather

I’m notoriously anti-weather app; I’m just happy to see whatever I think it looks like when I look out the window in the morning. However, yet again, just like spontaneity, the festival is a day where doing what you normally do doesn’t work; the stakes are too high. There’s a lack of sun coverage, and if it rains, there’s a lack of shelter. Checking the weather won’t change the weather conditions, but it will help you be better prepared for them. Check what the weather’s doingboth the day before and the day. It’s the tail end of summer, so it should hopefully be nice, not too hot nor too cold. But realistically, for some strange and confusing Australian reason, these few weeks have the potential to be the hottest or, in the case of last year’s Melbourne Laneway, the rainiest. Dress accordingly. Wear sunscreen. Bring a spare t-shirt or jacket if you need to. Be ready for anything. 

Additional tips: 

• Bring a portable charger. 

• Bring water, drink as much as possible.

• Get enough sleep the night before. 

• Ask that guy in a funny shirt if you can take a photo of his shirt.

• Wear comfortable shoes.

• Try have fun but don’t do anything too stupid.