Advice: Grace Gardiner
For the last print issue, we had you send in your woes for an advice column.
So many people sent in their problems that we ended up with quite a surplus. A special selection of those questions were answered beautifully and carefully by our friend Rachel Brown, but it seems a waste to discard the rest. It’s not like sending in your shitty iPhone photos and demanding that we publish them: these are your real problems - they’re consequential. Unfortunately for you, we are not, but we know some people who have been through fields of bullshit and have learned a thing or two along the way, so we’ll be working our way through your problems month to month or week to week or however often we get someone with a weird personality and a nicotine addiction to give you some straight talking tough love. This time around, we asked our contributor Grace Gardiner to give it a go.
Still got a problem? Email us your life’s challenges at editorial@monsterchildren.com and we’ll do our best to get someone to answer them for you.
im addicted to my vape. i hit it in class. i hit it getting fucked. i hit it at funerals. i am addicted to my vape. i dont like that about myself.
I quit the vape three years ago and I’ve never been able to successfully quit a single vice in my entire life other than that. People will tell you it’s impossible to quit but I promise it’s not that hard. they sell double menthol camel crushes at every bodega. Maybe start there. They are much better for you spiritually than a pina colada fruit loop geek bar.
My mom had me when she was a teenager so she and I are not that far apart in age (I'm 24/F) and when it comes to emotional things, I feel like she is the daughter and I am the mom. She doesn't handle things well a lot of the time, and I don't like feeling responsibile for her emotional state. She lives two states away now, which has been good, but that means I worry about her often.
That’s really tough and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I’ve found myself in the same position many times throughout my life and the only thing that helped the situation was to literally just stop answering the phone so much. I know that sounds like harsh, terrible advice but if your mom is safe and you don’t think she’s harming herself/or getting into harmful situations it will help her either find someone else to talk to that isn’t her twenty four year old daughter (therapist?) or best case scenario she will learn how to process her own emotions and handle her own problems. I am trying to avoid using the word boundaries… but… it sounds like you might need some if it’s affecting you this much. But hey, if that sounds too harsh maybe go visit her and suggest rewatching gilmore girls and gently nudge at the fact that you find Lorelei and Rory’s relationship to be inappropriate and problematic.
I was accepted into this photo program which is sick, but it costs like 20k and I don't have that shit. I'm a busser at a bar but I'm a photographer and this program is prestigious and says they'll hook me up with professionals and editors when its done. Should i just say fuck it and get a loan? Or am I dumb?
I’m probably not the best person to ask about anything involving finances or loans but I say fuck it. We’re all gonna probably be in debt forever and never get to retire anyway. Assuming you’ve done your research and asked around and decided that this actually will help your career, I would just go for it. You’re lucky enough to have found something that you love enough to potentially go into debt over! That’s a beautiful thing and I would take advantage of the opportunity if you can.
