Winter in New York City can be absolutely vicious, and on December 1st we received our first wintery blast.
But even though outdoor activities are being driven away by the forecast, we still have a ton of indoor events worth bundling up for. My December event suggestions are brutal, aggressive, sometimes adorable, but mostly excellent. Here they are:
Gates of the West: Celebrating the 40th Anniversary of London Calling – December 14
The Clash are both amazing and amazingly corny. On one hand, they are one of the forefathers of punk rock, and there is no denying their contributions to music. On the other hand, they are The Clash. I’m sure to tap my foot to the beat of ‘Lost In The Supermarket’ while on the train or have a dance to Janie Jones if I’m wasted. However, I will die perfectly happy if I never hear ‘Rock The Casbah’ again, and there’s zero question that I’m out when ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go’ comes on. They have become one of those introductory bands for teens sampling genres on their way to developing a deeper musical taste, and their licensed merch is a personal favourite of the ‘cool’ stepfather crowd. Despite my confliction, I would recommend this 40th Anniversary showcase. There looks to be enough diversity in the lineup to fill everyone’s needs—Debbie Harry, Joseph Arthur, Eugene Hutz, Fred Armisen, Sunflower Bean, Sheer Terror, and a ton of others—and it’s a benefit event for The Joe Strummer Foundation, which is a good thing.
December 14th @ Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St, New York
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Call for artists & authors! Do you have a story that you know people need to hear? @startshows is hosting a panel talk @jumpintothelightnow a famous gallery in the Lower East Side, NYC. . . We are honored to host NYC photographer and documentarian @claytonpattersonshow as one of our panelists in Holy Art Exhibition! This panel will be professionally filmed. . . To be a featured panelist it is $180. This includes edited footage of you speaking during the panel and the panel will be uploaded onto YouTube into individual segments for each artist and author, soon after the exhibition is over, as well as a custom featured panelist flyer. We will also post your Instagram and flyer on our pages so that people interested in art and books will learn about you and your craft. . . P.S. There are only 4 spots left! the deadline to finish applying is Saturday December 7. If you want your story to be heard, don’t wait until the last minute, or you’ll lose your opportunity! Send us a message now to learn how to apply. . . #callforartists #author #book #art #artist #photographer #painter #curator #instagood #lowereastside #nyc #ny #jumpintothelight #panel #gallery #artexhibition #artshow
Artists & Authors Panel: Art Show & Talk with Clayton Patterson – December 12
‘New York City is the melting pot of the world’ is one argument for why it’s the best place on earth. However, if I had a nickel for every time I have overheard some child from the midwest say, ‘miss the old New York,’ or complain about a new City Bank ruining the fabric of ‘their’ neighbourhood while they choke down an authentic Chipotle burrito, I would probably still be poor but way less irritated. If you frequent the Lower East Side, you probably know who Clayton Patterson is. You’ve likely seen him walking the streets in a hat embellished with a hand-sewn skull, wielding a camera and flaunting a beard that would give Santa a stiffy. Since the 1970s, Clayton has been living in the LES and making his own art while documenting the neighbourhood and its residents: the artists, punks, squatters, gangs, and families. Being a major advocate for the community, he has brought to light the issues of gentrification and police brutality. This is most notably shown in his 2008 documentary Captured, that brings you into what the Lower East Side was really like and issues that are still relevant today. This man has lived and captured it all. Every showcase, screening, or conversation with Clayton is a pleasurable and informative experience, and I would highly recommend you attend this talk and art show if you have any questions about my favourite neighbourhood in the world.
December 12th @ 180 Orchard Street
Obituary preforming Slowly We Rot – December 12th
I’m dead on the inside and this weather reminds me that my body is starting to fail. Maybe it’s time to move to Florida… NEVER MIND. That place is horrible. Before I gasp my final breathe and cough out one last complaint about the cold, let us take a moment to reflect on something amazing that crept out from the swamps of Tampa Bay: Obituary. These godly beings of Death Metal are playing their 1989 debut album, Slowly We Rot, in full, all 14 tracks of pure mayhem. Enter the Gates of Hell and prepare yourself for a full sensory assault guaranteed to cause internal bleeding and immortal visions.
December 12th @ Saint Vitus 1120 Manhattan Ave, Brooklyn
Yo La Tengo at The Bowery – December 22-29
I’m not a religious person but I loathe how Christianity overshadows all other denominations in America, especially this time of year. So, fuck it and Shalom! Yo La Tengo’s annual Hanukkah residency is back at the Bowery Ballroom running eight days from December 22nd to the 29th.
December 22-29th @ Bowery Ballroom. 6 Delancey St, New York
Museum of the City of New York: Celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Stonewall – December 1—31
In my life, I cannot recall a time when the United States of America was more divided. It’s a Left Vs. Right, Red against Blue, pick-a-fucking-side situation where both options are seriously flawed, broken and fucked. Because of our current state of tension, unrest and sunder, we have seen an immeasurable amount of trash emerge from the woodwork of our communities, media, and in our government. These pigs are pushing forward an agenda of hate and fear to destroy decades of progress. On June 28, 1969, a six-day revolt against police started with a raid at the Stonewall Inn. The event, which turned into nearly a week of protests, demonstrations and conflict with law enforcement, signalled a critical moment in the LGBTQ rights movement. The Museum of the City of New York presents PRIDE: Photographs of Stonewall and Beyond as part of the national celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising. This showcase features the work of Fred W. McDarrah, who’s stunning and powerful photographic images capture the initial Stonewall uprising, portraits of significant LGBTQ figures of the rights movement, marches, protests, and more. ‘Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.’
Now till December 31st @ The Museum of the City of New York. 1220 5th Ave, New York
House of Waris Botanicals
It’s fucking cold and snowy out here already, and one of the best ways to combat cabin fever is to just force yourself outside and do the damn thing. Often, I rely on hot (or alcoholic) beverages to keep me warm while that asshole Jack Frost is in town. Waris Ahluwalia, designer, actor, and one of New York’s socialite sweethearts has recently opened his own spot, said to be rooted in plant science, and centred around education and celebration. House of Waris Botanicals offers a plant-based menu and a proprietary line of adaptogenic tea blends certain to warm your ass up.
House of Waris Botanicals: 463 West 24th Street
The Pixies – December 7
The Pixies DO NOT NEED AN INTRODUCTION!!!
December 7th @ The Town Hall. 123 W 43rd St, New York
The Jesus Lizard – December 31
The only ball-dropping I care about this New Year’s Eve is David Yow’s.
December 31st @ Brooklyn Steel. 319 Frost St, Brooklyn
The Roxy Hotel: New Years Eve 2020 featuring David Johansen – December 31
I consider myself extremely lucky to have seen the New York Dolls twice in my life—and extremely unfortunate to only really remember one of the shows. The first time I was able to catch the Doll’s was at the Limelight during my Freshman year in college. I was with my childhood friend, Dirty Daddy and it was the dead of winter. After pregaming with 40s of Colt 45 in my dorm room, we hit the venue, and the first thing I noticed was the substantial security presence and the drinking wristbands. I was underage, but luckily Dirty Daddy was of age and he got us two rounds each of a vodka-based drink. Being young, dumb, and under the watchful eyes of security, I drank both as quickly as possible and smacked whatever cash I had into Dirty Daddy’s palm for one last round before the show. The guy returns with two shots of 151 Rum and hands both to me. I handled business and then somehow lead us to the front row, stage right. From there I do not remember much, just fuzzy scraps of memory pieced together by what others have told me. Apparently, the show was great and there were no issues during the set, but I did fall up the stairs trying to leave, making it clear I was too intoxicated to get back to my dorm. But instead of being escorted by my buddy, he (or we) decided it would be a great idea to go to The Eagle, New York’s longest established leather bar, where I should not have been admitted entry or served any additional drinks.
Following my inevitable removal, Dirty Daddy finally decided to hail us a cab and momentarily disappeared. While I waited, a gentleman approached and offered to feed me some of his popcorn. My response was surely something inaudible, so the gentleman began laughing maniacally and throwing popcorn at my face, one kernel at a time like he was feeding a puppy. I threw a punch, slipped on a patch of ice, hit my head, and began struggling on the ground like a turtle on it’s back. Then I was alone in the back seat of a cab, and when I opened my eyes again, it was morning and I was in my dorm room. I have absolutely no idea how I made it through the front desk security and up five flights to my room, and I have absolutely no idea how Dirty Daddy was able to get back to my building, through security and into my room. What I do know is my roommate had questions about some clear liquid on the floor was and why I was in his bed. Gazing over the edge of his bed at an impressive puddle of thick, clear goo I nonchalantly answered that I spilled some water. He shook his head and I realized it was vomit, which quickly became a secondary concern as I swung my legs out of his bed to expose my completely nude, bruised and bloody body. Neither of us was psyched that morning, but I’m the one who ended up having a double room occupancy to myself the rest of the year.
Anyway, long story short, get dolled up and ring in the New Year with a special performance by David Johansen.
December 31st @ The Roxy Hotel. 2 6th Ave, New York
*Other things you should really, definitely consider:
Gremlins & Home Alone Screenings – December 13th & 14th, midnight screenings (for both films) @ Nitehawk Cinema. 136 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn
MoMI: Moments of Grace: The Collected Terrence Malick – Through December 15th @ Museum of Moving Image
INXS: Live Baby Live at Wembley Stadium – December 9th @ Regal Essex Crossing. 115 Delancey St, New York (www.inxscinema.com)
We Tell: Fifty Years of Participatory Community Media – December 12th-17th @ Anthology Film Archives. 32 2nd Ave, New York