This is deeply, deeply, deeeeeeeeeeply fucking stupid.
Anti-abortion lawmakers in Pennsylvania want to pass a bill that would require clinics to arrange burials or cremations for all ‘fetal remains’ including fertilised eggs that never implanted in the uterus. These burials or cremations would legally require a death certificate. No shit. For you boys who never read Every Woman, when mummies and daddies love each other very much, the daddy puts his penis inside the mummy’s vagina and attempts to fertilise her ovum with his hot, white spunk. Sometimes it works and the egg is fertilised and becomes a knot of multiplying cells implanted on the uterus wall. But then sometimes it doesn’t work—sometimes the egg gets fertilised but fails to stick to the wall, and it goes down the toilet with mummy’s period and joins the unholy army of orphan sewer mutants that live under every city.
The proposed bill is called the ‘Pennsylvania Final Disposition of Fetal Remains Act,’ and if it is passed, it will mean $50 to $300 fines or up to 30 days in prison for all parties involved (except for daddy; he bounced ages ago).
Here’s the problem: women, doctors, psychics, and Dog the Bounty Hunter can’t track fertilised eggs that don’t implant because they—the eggs—dissolve in utero and are shed every month with the period blood. They’re undetectable. And even if they didn’t dissolve, they’re smaller than a fucking pinhead, which, ironically, is exactly what those lawmakers in Pennsylvania are. Doy. Now watch the video below and stop getting pregnant.