Cannibalism to End Climate Change


A Swedish scientist speaking at a Stockholm’s Gastro Summit last week suggested we start eating human flesh to end climate change.

That Scientist is named Magnus Soderlund, and he sincerely believes that ‘conservative’ taboos around cannibalism would change over time if people just gave eating human flesh a go. He didn’t just come out with the idea while talking about melting icecaps, though—there was a panel called ‘Can You Imagine Eating Human Flesh?’ and he argued in favor of cannibalism there, the mad fucking bastard. The panel’s talking points were described thusly (yes, I said thusly):

Are we humans too selfish to live sustainably? Is cannibalism the solution to food sustainability in the future? Does Generation Z have the answers to our food challenges? Can consumers be tricked into making the right decisions? At GastroSummit, you will get some answers to these questions—and also partake in the latest scientific findings and get to meet the leading experts.

The meat, Soderland said, would initially be derived from dead bodies. So, instead of ticking the box ‘Donate my organs to Science’ on your driver’s license, you’d have the option of selecting ‘Please turn me into a fucking gyros.’ Eventually, though, I imagine the demand for human flesh would result in a Soylent Green-type situation (interesting to note: Soylent Green is set in 2022…)

Soderlund works at the Stockholm School of Economics, and according to the bio on their website, he researches ‘consumer behavior,’ ‘marketing stimuli,’ ‘loyalty,’ ’emotions,’ ‘justice perceptions,’ ‘psychological reactions,’ and ‘a society increasingly obsessed with consumption.’  Presumably, this lunatic has never heard of Kuru. Here’s a song by the Cranberries, whose lead singer would’ve been turned into Ikea meatballs on Magnus Soderlund’s watch.

 

 

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