How to Pitch a Tent


You’re old enough to read, which means you’re old enough to erect a tent.

But do you know how to erect a tent? If you answered no to this question about erecting a tent, you’re not alone. In a recent survey conducted by a man who married his Honda Jazz, it was revealed that only seven Australians know how to put up a tent, and of those seven Australians, only four have walked down the aisle with a versatile four-door hatchback. So, don’t feel bad. In fact, feel excited, because we’re going to teach you how to put up your tent!

Clear the Area of Sticks

You’ve found the spot you want to pitch your tent, but look, there’s sticks everywhere, and they’ll make your tent floor lumpy. No thanks. Clear those sticks.

Lay Some Tarp

Lay down a tarp to create a barrier between your tent bottom and the ground. It’s not imperative that you do this, but why take chances on damp? Damp is a bummer.

Check Your Stuff

Lay out all the different components of your tent and make sure everything is accounted for: pegs, guide ropes, glind lines (very important), whatever is listed in the kit.

Lay Her Out

Lay your tent out on the tarp with the door facing the direction you want to get up in the morning. Depending on who you are and how you feel about sunlight, the direction of your door might be East, West, South, or possibly even North. North West? Maybe, but check your glind lines first.

Put Your Tent Poles Together

The tent poles are those long bits with elastic running through them. If you have a very old tent, your tent poles will just look like long bits.

Insert Your Poles

Insert tent poles through the corresponding loops and flaps of the tent. Be careful not to rip the tent when you do this, as a ripped tent will let rain and cold air in. Refer to your glind lines and everything should be fine.

Raise Your Tent and Peg Her Down

Carefully raise the roof of the tent, hook the poles in at the ends, and then peg that sucker down so it doesn’t blow away.

Add Your Fly

Add your rain fly if you have one. If you do not have one, you might experience a little more moisture than your neighbour with the rain fly. The good news is, you can steal your neighbour’s rain fly and relocate your tent in the night.

Set Up Your Bed

Now your tent is up, you can get in there and set up house. If you’re sharing with a friend, it’s a good idea to have a small container, perhaps a basket, situated between your sleeping bags. This basket will serve as your lolly stash. Keep an inventory of your lollies so you know who ate what and when.

Decamping

Always empty your tent and let it dry and air out before breaking it down and putting it back in the bag, otherwise your tent will become smelly and mildewy and yuck.

Don’t be Silly

Don’t be silly. Be respectful of your neighbours, be respectful of the land. Leave everything looking nicer than when you arrived, even if that means expensive returfing. Leave nothing behind (including and especially your tent) and no sign that you were even there… Also, glind lines aren’t a thing.

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