A Lazy Bastard’s Guide to Last Minute Christmas Gifts

Christmas. Gifts.

If those two words aren’t enough for a deep groan to escape from your deflated being then you’re either a better person than us, or someone who’s got too much time on your hands. Christmas gifts can be the bane of one’s existence in December, which is why we’ve decided to pitch in and help you out—you can even take the credit for sourcing them all yourself. If it doesn’t look like they’re going to get to you on time through regular snail mail, it’s called express shipping and you should probably fork out for it buddy. And no, this ain’t a paid post (well, not all of it). We just really like this shit.

Wednesdays with Bob – $29.99

There’s more to Bob Hawke than just being really, really proficient at skulling beer (although ‘Bob Hawke beer’ is the first Google suggestion when typing his name). For overseas folk, Robert J. Hawke is Australia’s 23rd and oldest living Prime Minister, who led our great country for four years but also was immortalised by the Guinness Book of Records in 1954 for sculling 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. In the book, journalist Derek Rielly quite literally spends Wednesdays with Bob, sharing cigars and irreverent conversation about life, death, love, sex, religion, politics, sport … and everything in between.

Get it here.

MC 1 Year or 2 Year Subscription – $ Worth Every Penny

Don’t make us say it. Please. Fine: “It’s the gift that just keeps on giving!” There, you happy? It really is though—four times a year, our many paged bundles of joy get dropped on your loved one’s doorsteps, and can be placed carefully around the home to maximise visuals of how much you really do love them. Wanna knock out two years of Christmas in a row? Get a two-year subscription, you’re welcome.

Get it here.


Beats Wireless Headphones – $299

With the exception of those Apple dicks-out-ya-ears headphones that we wish didn’t exist, wireless headphones are the greatest thing since sliced bread. And if you’re going to get someone a pair, you may as well show some respect and get the best.

Get a pair here.

Maison Balzac L’OBSCURITÉ Candle – $69

It’s got sleek packaging and one hell of a name, but does it smell any good? It smells fucking fantastic. An excellent, you-can’t-lost gift.

Get it here.

N.C. Austin Onyx Signet Ring – $300

At Monster Children we love all things black in colour, and that extends to our jewellery choice. This ring is handcrafted in Sydney from solid sterling silver, with a black onyx oval stone, and though it seems to be targeted towards the male demographic, we’re backing it for both sexes. This is one smooth-like-chocolate purchase.

Get it here.

Poolside with Slim Aarons – $43.50

Photographer Slim Aarons had an all-access pass during the 1950s-80s to the inner circles of the (very, very) rich and famous, and spent most of his time hanging out in places you’d sign away your first born to spend an hour or two in. We’re big advocates of a decent coffee table book gift, and this one is wallet friendly too.

Get it here

Darth Vader Weber BBQ – $329

Why’s it called Darth Vader? ‘Cause it’s black, okay? It’s got a sleek styled roasting lid to hide whatever abomination you’re cooking inside, and cooks up to 100 meals per 9kg gas bottle. Solid summer purchase.

Get it here.




Aesop Products

Aesop are a good one to have in the bathroom cabinet/luggage bag at all times. Plus, they’ve got a real fancy gift guide on their website that separates their products into the appropriate recipient (colleagues and associates, domicile dwellers, parental types, romantic partnerships, sibling variations, the travel-inclined) so you’re not dumb enough to give your girlfriend’s mum some Aesop Post-Poo Drops. You’re not that dumb, right?

Get the whole lot here.

MC x Civilware Clipper Knife – $230

Knives are one of the handiest pieces of hardware available to man, which is why we’ve teamed up with the sharpest tools in the shed, Civilware, to create a limited edition, custom collab piece of hardware. Stainless steel, titanium frame lock and custom LAND graphic on the front. Your mum’s gonna hate it. Perfect.

Get it here.

adidas Palace Pro – $155

Sneakers are always a winner. In case you’re still worried, we’ve picked out a pair for you that’s in shopping carts around the office as well speak—legends of the UK skate scene, Benny Fairfax and Chewy Cannon got together to design a colourway, and it goes a little something like this.

Get them here.

Saturdays Slash Towel – $48

Looks plush, feels plush. When buying beach towels, you’ve got to hit the sweet spot between recognisable enough to not be stolen by your mate, and not so luxurious that it screams, “Hey I’ve got a wallet wrapped up inside of me!” This is one such towel.

Buy it here.

GoPro Board Mount – $35

Odds are, you know someone with a GoPro. And that person somewhere within your inner sanctum (sound rude doesn’t it?) would probably be stoked with this handy (and cheap, but they don’t need to know) addition to their camera. Just check they own a board first, kind of a deal-breaker.

Buy it here.


Chuck 1.0 Poly Back Pack Navy – $60

Backpacks are a pretty safe bet, and this one from Converse is the perfect mix of stylish and inoffensive. It’s also got a ton of space, which includes a padded sleeve for the all-important laptop.

Buy it here.

Banks Britany Boardshort – $79.99

Someone in the office shouted into the void where the hell she was going to find boardshorts for her boyfriend’s Christmas present and the resounding answer back was Banks. These are some of our favourites, but we highly suggest a peruse of their whole range, it’ll be impossible to finish empty-carted.

Buy them here.

Quiksilver Long Sleeve Wetsuit Jacket- $179

Water don’t get as warm as it used to when you were pre-pubescent and had the thermoregulation of an active Labrador. Nope, we get cold now, which means a long sleeve wetsuit jacket isn’t a ridiculous gift for those in Christmas summer climate. Good colour, quality, and price point. Check.

Get it here

MC x Doomsday ‘No Sympathy Tee’

Will you let us shamelessly plug one more Monster Children product? Thank you, very kind. We’ve got a whole treasure chest full of Christmas goodies in our MC Shop, but we thought it worth mentioning one of our favourites, our collab tee with Melbourne legends Doomsday. It’s a super limited run, so you can rest assured the lucky recipient won’t be having any awkward run-ins with three other people who’ve all been given the same trendy tee from *insert big department store here*.

Get it here.

If none of the above inspires you, that’s strange, but have a look here. We guarantee you’ll find something nice.

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