In lieu of adding my critique to the Everest of opinion pieces published since the momentous return of Lynch’s Twin Peaks on Monday, I’m looking back and asking the tough questions.
After seeing some of the cast 25 years on from their baby-faced debuts, I began to wonder what they got up to in that quarter century in-between. I don’t mean what other series or films they starred in, I mean the unexpected decisions, the quirky diversions. You know; the life stuff. Here’s a couple of the best stories pertaining to what some returning characters got up to in their time off, and a couple of tantalising tales that happened before Twin Peaks even started, because who are you, a clock?
Also, before we get started, I learned a very important but unrelated fun fact during my research and I simply must share. Donna and Cooper were dating offscreen for the entirety of filming (gasp!), and Donna got jealous of Audrey (who wouldn’t?) and fought to keep them from hooking up in the script. That’s why Annie was introduced as Cooper’s love interest. Rumour on the street is that’s why you ain’t seeing none of Donna’s piehole in the new season. Scoop.
James Hurley won $11 Million in court
Here’s less of a scoop: James Marshall, who plays pouty motorbike enthusiast James Hurley in the show, can’t act for peanuts. He might have the face for it, but his chutzpah is still missing in action. Speaking of faces, we see his for the first time in the final scene of the second episode of the return, and he’s looking a little gaunt. He’s still got those kind eyes, but it looks like he’s dropped a couple pant sizes over the years. Yes, I’m trying to find a nice way of saying he looks a bit sick. And as it turns out, he has been. In mid-2010, James was awarded $11 million in damages after suing Hoffmann-LaRoche pharmaceuticals for gastrointestinal problems resulting from using their acne drug, Accutane. It got pretty serious, with James ending up having his colon removed and remaining stuck in hospital for four months. He claimed this completely derailed his acting career, right as he was destined for greatness.
Lucy Moran dated Milhouse
Time can change a lot of things, but it turns out it can’t compete with your voicebox. And in the case of Kimmy Robertson, thank god for that. Famous for playing the ditzy but lovable Lucy Moran on the show, Kimmy not only looks, but also sounds, exactly the same upon her return to the Sheriff Department’s front desk. That cute cartoon voice hasn’t dropped an octave. Her voice is so unmistakable that it probably won’t blow you out of the water when I tell you she basically spent the last 25 years doing voice over/radio work, but what if I told you she voiced Milhouse’s love interest in The Simpsons? Fast forward to 2:40 of the clip to hear her in all her glory. Are you out of the water?
Andy Brennan (Harry Goaz) chauffeured David Lynch to Roy Orbison’s memorial
Okay, this one is cheating, ’cause it’s about the before, rather than the in-between. But it’s such a good story. It’s the story of how Harry met Sally Lynch and subsequently scored the part of Twin Peaks‘ dumbest deputy. When Harry first moved to Hollywood, he paid bills by working as a driver for a private car service. One night, he had to pick up Lynch from the Hollywood Hills and drop him off at Roy Orbison’s memorial service. Nothing of note happened on the ride over, but Harry, a huge Blue Velvet fan, decided to wait for Lynch when he came out. Lynch couldn’t believe he’d waited for him, and on the car ride home, he asked him what else Harry did for a living, to which Harry replied that he was an actor. In Harry’s own words, he recalls, “His demeanour seemed to shift to a solemn and serious shade. He nodded his head and said, “It is the hardest life.” I said yes sir, but you have to love it. He nodded and said, “That’s it, you have to love it. You have to love it!” He told me he was working on something very special and asked me to send in my picture.”
Leland Palmer did a Reddit AMA
In 2014, Ray Wise, who plays Laura Palmer’s dad, did an AMA on Reddit. He answered a bunch of acting related questions, but we learned a lot of other stuff about him, too. Like he once owned an albino parakeet, watching The Horror of Dracula relaxes him, and he loves spaghetti.
Norma Jennings married Quincy Jones
Peggy Lipton, who plays Double R Diner owner Norma Jennings, was already famous well before Twin Peaks came around. She starred in the hugely successful ABC series, Mod Squad, in the late 60s to early 70s. Let me say, time (and perhaps botox) has been kind to Peggy, who now clocks in at 70-years-old but kinda looks the same as the last time we saw her serving warm cherry pie. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about her career or facelifts, muchachos. We’re here to talk about what happened in-between, but I’m not gonna do that either (muchachos), because the real kicker here happened way back in the 70s. After a string of bad men and bad decisions, Peggy married Quincy Jones in 1974 and gave birth to Rashida Jones. Yep, you were watching Rashida Jones’ baby mama that whole time. Quincy and Peggy divorced in 1990, right as Twin Peaks began filming. ‘Sup, Ed Hurley?
Special Agent Dale Cooper aged like a fine wine
Nope, that ain’t Photoshop. That’s the homepage for Coop’s own wine label, named “Damn Fine Cup of Wine”. Thanks, Dad! Anyway, it’s called Pursued by Bear, and Kyle Merritt MacLachlan started it in 2005. Located in in Walla Walla, Washington, it’s ranked one of Washington’s best wine labels. And yes, I’ve joined the list.