Man, you kids make me sick! Welcome to the ‘Tain’t No Spring Chicken Record Review.’ My name is Crombie and I aint no spring chicken, that’s for sure. I don’t have hair growing out my ears or nuthin, but I sure as hell don’t trust that goddamn icloud.
Today I’m going to do all you little pipsqueaks a huge favor and introduce you to one of the most overlooked bands in the history of rock n’ roll: Jonathan Fire*Eater.
‘Oh, I know Jonathan Fire*Eater!’ Shut the fuck up, Junior; you don’t. You’ve never heard of Jonathan Fire*Eater. They were active for three seconds when you’re moms was getting pregnant to the milkman, so shut it.
Jonathan Fire*Eater were basically an early incarnation of The Walkmen (‘Oh, I know The Walkmen!’ Shut it). They were a five-piece and they were incredible. Originally from Washington DC, JF*E moved to NYC in the 90s and released their final (and best) album, Wolf Songs for Lambs, in 1997. Then they broke up. According to an August 18, 1998 posting on MTV.com, the group went their separate ways because they’d ‘grown a little weary of the band after having played together for some 11 years, dating back to when they were chums in the fifth grade.’ Which sounds preposterous given that there was a major label bidding war for them before they signed with Dreamworks and released Wolf Songs– their major label debut. They could’ve been huge; they should’ve been huge, what happened? Anyway, they’ve broken up and gone and you missed it because you were too busy popping zits and playing with your Tamagochi.