Make the Ultimate Bloody Mary

Hangover Be Gone.

It’s no secret that we like to drink here at Monster Children.

Alcohol is usually (but not always) consumed in the pm, and one of the consequences of releasing the proverbial handbrake is that it makes for testing mornings. That’s why the Greek god of orgies and vomiting in buckets Bacchus invented the bloody mary; that strange concoction that replenishes the blood alcohol level with vodka and shocks the system into alertness with an acidic hit of tomato juice, and a touch of chilli. Seeing as Jake from Newtown institution Mary’s (and soon to be the Landsdowne) is one of our favourite people to drink with, and his joint makes a killer bloody mary, we figured he’d be the perfect man to educate the masses as to how to concoct this magical drop.


Bottle of Cheap Vodka or Gin (of course you can be fancy, but we’re not fussed. If you need alcohol to fix a hangover, I don’t think you’ll be fussed either…)

Bottle of Tomato Juice
Worcestershire Sauce
Hot Sauce
4 smashed garlic cloves
Diced Bacon
Diced Onion
Leftover wine or beer
Cheese Slices
Bacon Strips
Pickled Onion
Flame Thrower


Pop onion, bacon, thyme and garlic cloves into a medium pot with a spoonful of butter to lube things up. Take them to nice browned place and add some beer or wine (250ml) and bring to the boil. Reduce by half and then add the tomato juice. Cool this in the fridge overnight and skim any butter or bacon fat that has solidified atop. Strain the juice into a clean jug or bottle and leave for when emergency strikes. (2 weeks max btw…)


Take a tall glass and fill with ice. Attempt to drown the ice in a white liquor. 45ml. For those less adventurous, rye whiskey can be used, but be aware you may feel like a beer straight after this. Slippery fucking slope. Add 90ml of the Tomato Magic Place cheese slice atop and give a gentle ‘brûlée’, avoiding burning…Place grilled bacon and pickled onion atop and schlep back to bed. Rinse. Repeat.

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