The Good News


Hello and welcome to today’s hot pile of Good News.

Fucking hell. I mean… Can we get some leadership in Australia, please? What a time to have history’s greatest clowns running the show. Give me strength, Jesus. FUUUUUCK! Oops. Sorry. Oh, what a wonderful 24-hours in Good News it’s been! Look around you—the world is positively lousy with Good News! For instance, right now I have a kitten attacking my leg and being a total asshole while I try to successfully complete the long list of things on my To-Do list. Am I  annoyed? Am I furious? Am I going to rub shit through my hair and cry? Not at all. What I’m going to do is making plans for a new furry hat! Lemons and lemonade. Let’s have a look at the Good News.


Wow. Most Smurfs in one place. During a pandemic. Good news? Well, they’re having a great time breaking a world record, so that’s good. And then there’s the whole natural selection thing, so… Yes! This is good news.

Sydney-based food journalist Tristan Lutze has kicked off Saving Plates, a website and Instagram account that lists the ever-increasing number of Sydney restaurants that are offering takeaway and/or delivery. In an interview with Broadsheet, Lutz said Saving Plates was a small initiative but hopefully one that will make a difference. ‘If I help even a handful of restaurants sell a few extra meals each night, and those restaurants can, in turn, afford to pay their suppliers, then my small investment of time and money will have been worth it. The industry has given me so much, and I just want to give something back.’ What a champion.

The Melbourne Comedy Festival would’ve been starting up tomorrow if the organizers were all French Smurfs. Unfortunately, they’re just regular-ass Melbourne people with asymmetrical haircuts and a real chip on their shoulder about people having a tan, so to make the most of the no-gatherings over 5 or whatever it is now situation they’ll be sharing a clip each day from Comedy Festivals gone by on their YouTube channel. Good news! Here’s Aaron Chen at last year’s fest. He’s great.

Speaking of Chinese dudes, this letter from a teacher in China was forwarded to me today. As we all know, China is future-us to the tune of about three weeks, so this is really worth a read. Also, I interviewed a dude in Shanghai about his experiences with the lockdown, and I’ll have that up here sometime this week.

We are just finishing our 7th week of E-Learning, seven weeks of being mainly housebound and seven weeks of uncertainty. We are healthy, we are happy, and we are humbled.

We are allowed to move around freely now with a green QR code that we show when we get our temperature taken. You get your temperature taken everywhere, and it’s just become part of the routine. Most restaurants and shopping centers are now open, and life is coming back to our city.

As we watch the rest of the world begin their time inside; here are some of my reflections on the last seven weeks:

1. Accept that you have no control over the situation. Let go of any thoughts of trying to plan too much for the next month or two. Things change so fast. Don’t be angry and annoyed at the system. Anxiety goes down, and you make the best of the situation – whatever that might be for you. Accept that this is what it is and things will get easier.

2. Try not to listen to/read/watch too much media. It WILL drive you crazy. There is a thing as too much!

3. The sense of community I have felt during this time is incredible. I could choose who I wanted to spend my energy on – who I wanted to call, message and connect with and found the quality of my relationships has improved.

4. Appreciate this enforced downtime. When do you ever have time like this? I will miss it when we go back to the fast-paced speed of the ‘real world’.

5. Time goes fast. I still haven’t picked up the ukelele I planned to learn, and there are box set TV shows I haven’t watched yet.

6. The relationships (as a teacher ) I have built have only continued to grow. I have loved seeing how independent they are; filming themselves to respond to tasks while also learning essential life skills such as balance, risk-taking and problem-solving, that even we as adults are still learning.

7. You learn to appreciate the little things; sunshine through the window, flowers blossoming and being able to enjoy a coffee in a cafe.

To those just beginning this journey, You will get through it. Listen to what you are told, follow the rules and look out for each other. There is light at the end of the tunnel.´

Today’s final bit of Good News is really just Good News for me. Sorry. The dudes from a men’s grooming product company called Patricks sent me all this stuff with a note saying thanks for the good news. Isn’t that nice? I think it is, and now I look and smell fucking terrific. They’re called Patricks without a possessive apostrophe, so I’m thinking the operation must be run by several people named Patrick? Dunno. Anyways, thanks, Patricks. See y’all tomorrow for more GOOD NEWS!

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