Bondi Beach Has Been Shut Down

Thousands of people who headed to Bondi Beach yesterday for an arvo dip haven’t heard of that pandemic thingy called coronavirus, apparently.

With temps reaching the mid thirties (celsius) yesterday, crowds decided to make up for an average summer resulting from those selfish bushfires and head to the beach, with many flocking to nearby bars and restaurants for a cold one afterwards. Health Minister Greg Hunt was, understandably, pissed.

‘What happened in Bondi was unacceptable and the local council must take steps to stop that occurring,’ he said in a press conference today.

He continued, ‘What I would say to everybody, is that we’re all in this together, and the vast majority of Australians, the overwhelming majority of Australians are not just doing the right thing, but they’re helping out their fellow Australians. If you are breaking those rules, you are putting other Australians at risk.’


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 The pissed off sentiment quickly spread online after videos and photos began popping up late yesterday, being broadcast on news outlets across the world. The state government quickly moved to announce the closure of Bondi Beach around lunchtime today, and all beaches with crowds of 500 or more will likely follow.

At the time of writing, Australia now has 928 cases of coronavirus and 7 deaths. So please, we beg of you: don’t be a dickhead, practice social distancing, and stay safe, healthy and positive.

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