Happier Days: Depp in a shit-free bed in the 1990s

Heard Drops Turd in Depp Bed

Amber Heard curled out a hot one on Johnny Depp’s bed and socked him in the face.

‘Among other violent acts,’ said Johnny Depp in an official declaration he submitted to the circuit court of Fairfax County, Virginia, ‘Ms. Heard punched me repeatedly in the face as I lay in bed reading after [her] party, leaving me with an egg-shaped swelling under my left eye.’ Heard, who spoke at the 4th Annual Women’s March in Los Angeles last month, was angry at Depp for arriving late to a birthday party she had thrown for herself on April 21, 2016. Depp had been stuck in a meeting—a professional engagement that he had informed Heard of prior to the party. But she allegedly punched him repeatedly in the face anyway. Depp left the penthouse and had a friend take a photo of his injuries before returning to his Hollywood home. Depp submitted the photo of his then-bruised face as evidence.

that time in 2016 when heard nearly severed depp’s finger with a broken bottle and stubbed a ciggie out on his face.

The following morning, Depp says he returned to his penthouse and discovered that ‘Heard or one of her friends defecated in my bed as some sort of a sick prank before they left for Coachella together.’ Depp also claims that their Estate Manager Kevin Murphy told him that Heard admitted to him that the steaming grogan was ‘just a harmless prank,’ you know, just a bit of funning around. We’ve all taken a shit on our partner’s bed for a lark. Lol.

Now, you might be thinking this is old news, and anyway, Amber Heard would never do that—after all, she was in Aquaman. But take a listen to the recording where she drugs Depp, gaslights him like crazy and freely admits to regularly assaulting him (‘I can’t promise that it will all be perfect. I can’t promise you I won’t get physical again. God I fucking… Sometimes I get so mad I lose it.’) The release of the tape has lead to the #JusticeForJohnnyDepp movement, and an online petition to have Heard removed from Aquaman 2 is, at this time of writing, approaching 500,000 signatures.

It’s starting to look a lot like Amber Heard is a very violent and manipulative person who, when provoked, does big turds in people’s beds. Watch this space.

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