Monster Children

FOXY BUT DEAD: Louise Brooks!
Posted By Jason – 17.07.2012

Foxy but Dead is the section of the blog where I point to a lady and say, ‘Hey! She’s hot (foxy)!’ Then I pause and add, ‘but she’s just a chalky old skeleton in the ground now (dead)’. It’s that simple. Welcome to everyone’s favorite department: Foxy but Dead.

This week’s FBD is Louise Brooks, and F-my-A if she isn’t foxier than fifty foxes.

Louise Brooks was born in Kansas in 1906. Her dad was a lawyer and her mother’s maiden name was Rude. Not literally rude like Scum-tits or Dirt-cock, but actually Rude– Myra Rude was her name. Grow up. In 1925 Louise made her acting debut in the silent movie The Many Passions of Count Boofhead… wait… I meant to say she made her acting debut in The Street of Forgotten Men. Sorry. Louise starred in a boatload of movies throughout the 20’s and 30’s, but she’s probably best known for her role as ‘Lulu’ in the German silent melodrama, Battle Cry of the Acne Pig… wait…scratch that; I meant to say Pandora’s Box, she’s best known for her role in Pandora’s Box.

Louise was married twice but famously enjoyed a handful of lesbian affairs. She once admitted to having a brief dalliance with Greta Garbo, whom she described as a ‘rat-faced scat queen, with the vulva of an elephant’…wait… ‘Charming and tender lover’ is what she said. Excuse me.

At the end of the 30’s Louise retired from the movie biz, and, after brief stint as a gossip columnist and radio actor, she got a job as a salesgirl at a Saks store in New York. Can you believe that? I’m not even kidding; she was huge movie star and then she became a shop girl. Talk about doing it backwards. After that she worked as a courtesan, which is nice way of saying she was an expensive prostitute. Then she became a recluse and subsisted on a monthly stipend furnished by a wealthy ex-lover (CBS founder William S. Paley). Then she became a film writer, and a collection of her writings, Lulu in Hollywood, was published in 1982.

Anyway, Louise died of poison frog dart, I mean heart attack, in the year 1985. The end. Louise Brooks: she was a fox but now she’s dead. And that concludes Foxy but Dead.