Kelly Slater Chucks a Sickie


Ain’t that Swell touches base once again, jam-packed with tidbits of intrigue from the world of surf.

Unsurprisingly, as anyone with an Instagram account can attest, it’s all about Fiji—mine’s bigger than yours, usual macho big wave bs. One of the more interesting morsels that rise to the surface, however, is the complete inability for poor old Kelly Slater to get away with anything at all. For those out of the loop (or who couldn’t give a shit, with is completely understandable), Kelly pulled out of the Bali contest with a bad trotter and then headed to surf the swell of the century in Fiji for a little, err, light cardio. As happens in web world, this resulted in the usual endless pontificating as to the properties of 20-foot tubes vs doing turns and the pressure it puts on various parts of the hoof. Vaughan finally nails it on this week’s ATS with the point that maybe the guy was just following in the footsteps of surfers since the sport’s inception, and skiving off. Three-foot Keramas/generation-defining Cloudbreak? Only difference is that as soon as the G.O.A.T gets on the plane, some dooley snaps a shot of the back of his hairless dome and uploads it to the Gram.

The boys get off Fiji, eventually, and then it’s back to the tried and tested formula of trying to get Bainy to let scoops from the past slip. This week’s? Who was playing musical beds on tour back in the good/bad old days of professional(ish) surfing… Did he spill the beans? Better stick it out for the duration to find out.

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