Sure they give millions to the needy, employ thousands and ethically produce some of your favourite products, but any company with a belief system that doesn’t adhere to extreme leftist standards best be prepared to suffer the wrath of contemporary outrage culture.
Despite liberal cult fav Bernie Sanders, historians and political scientists alike agreeing that identity politics were in part responsible for Brexit, President Trump, and the rise in popularity of far-right candidates in Sweden, France and Australia (see: Pauline Hanson), you can’t tell us liberals nothin’. We will make mountains out of mole hills. We will not read an entire story from start to finish. And we will form an opinion based on headlines and angry comments only.
Of course, we’re referring to the boycott of Coopers beer last week after the only Australian-owned brewery dared supply a 200-year-old Christian organization—The Bible Society—with a few brews to celebrate a milestone. You know, disciples of the same religion that brought us Easter and Christmas—a tonne of public holidays that no atheist or agnostic fence-sitter is boycotting anytime soon.
Then, get this, The Bible Society—notorious homophobes and bigots—then did what they had absolutely no right to do and invited two gay intellectuals and a straight religious man (all friends) to have a rational discussion about gay marriage over a couple beers. Crazier yet, the religious nut was actively supportive of his gay colleagues (maybe it was the booze), even if he thought the term “marriage” should refer only to traditional male-female relationships—a ritual that has been a staple of society since 4000 BC (That’s Before “Christ”, folks). And one that the PC brigade want abolished overnight. Please.
Is “this is how we’ve always done it” a valid excuse? Hell no. Should any human be able to marry another if they wish without state involvement? Fuck yes.
But boycotting a local beer company with strong community ties because of a light affiliation—no pun intended—with a historically hard-lined organization attempting to be progressive is nothing short of ignorant.
If you’ve watched the video you’ll know it’s Tim Wilson—the gay man and equal rights activist who over-reactionaries are taking offence on behalf of—who insists it’s a valuable discussion worth having regardless of which side you sit. And he’s pissed that Coopers has capitulated to online trolls, and insists the conversation needs to be had.
“I still haven’t heard a single person tell me what’s wrong with the content of the video,” Wilson told The Australian. “I don’t understand how the people who boycotted this think they’re going to change the minds of people if they only talk to people they agree with.”
In the same article, veteran marriage equality advocate Rodney Croome also condemned the social media-inspired boycott: “we should be encouraging that debate, not trying to shut it down”.
Moving on, there are a bunch of popular brands that you didn’t know were religious. And here are five of the most well-known—some of which ACTUALLY deserve to be boycotted.
They’re a cult Californian burger chain that only uses local produce, makes their burgers fresh in front of your eyes and is the industry leader in paying above minimum wage. Lines stretch down the block at every location and when pop-up stores come to Sydney people line-up for hours just to get a whiff. Bet you didn’t know they have biblical passages printed on the paper bags and wrappers?
Yep, fuckin’ Weet-Bix aren’t just affiliated with a religion, the company that makes them – Sanitarium—is owned by the Seventh Day Adventist Church. And the Aussie company hasn’t paid a single dollar’s tax on its profits since it was founded in Melbourne in 1898 on account of religious organisations being tax exempt. Sanitarium also make Up&Go, So Good and Marmite—by far the worst of any mites.
Dr Bronner’s Soap
It’s the go-to fair trade organic body soap of naturopaths, hipsters and celebrities alike. But when you look a little bit closer at the gibberish on the bottles, you’ll find the so-called “family soapmakers” have been spouting hate speech since 1858 with semi-coherent sermons from the mind of the Jewish German founder and self-proclaimed philosopher who preaches of a unified mankind to be made possible by uniting under one faith and one God. Though his god is one of inclusiveness and the company is actively supportive of equal rights for all.
If you’re under the age of 45 or over 100kg, you’re already boycotting curves. But mum might want to know that not only was the women’s weight loss chain started by a man, but a born-again Christian who is a staunch conservative and has actually made donations to anti-abortion organisations. No sarcasm or jokes here. This dude sucks. He ensures women follow through with pregnancies than makes money off them when they want to lose the weight.
Now, this is a beer worth boycotting for taste alone. But more seriously, up until recently it was manufactured in the USA by MillerCoors, a company infamous for the pro-life stance of its executives Pete and Joe Coors, who entered politics using an anti-abortion platform—even for victims of incest or rape. The Coors family foundations have reportedly donated more than $12million to conservative and religious groups. The good news is, Fosters was recently purchased by SABMiller and they have no known religious ties. The bad news is, it still tastes like shit.