I went bodysurfing with a friend recently, and he had special bodysurfing fins. I have some fins too, but they’re really big and they came with a snorkel.
I tried to use them bodysurfing but they just made it more difficult to manoeuvre myself in the water, and they made me look like an arsehole.
“That’s cheating, mate,” said one of the old blokes who regularly paddle out at Tamarama. We were both floating around 30 metres off shore and my big, yellow duck feet were poking out of the water.
“I know,” I said with a chuckle.
“And you look like an arsehole.”
“Fuck you, granddad,” I was going to say, but he grabbed a wave and took off like a dolphin. I wasn’t the only dude out there with flippers that day, but I was the only one with really big, non-bodysurfing flippers, and I felt silly and cumbersome and ugly and fat. After a cry in the toilets, I resigned to get myself some serious fins and never be shamed by a salty 70-something ever again.
That night, I accessed the internet through a long, blue cable connected to my computer and did some research into the best bodysurfing fins on the market today. Turns out the best ones are made by a Hawaiian company called DaFin. I contacted DaFin and said I’d plug their superior, world-class product on MonsterChildren.com if they hooked me up. They said, “Okay,” and a few days later a box arrived in the mail. So here’s the plug: these things are brilliant. I won’t get behind a product if it sucks. Sure, I’ve got a sweet little hustle going here, getting free stuff, but if these fins sucked I wouldn’t be writing about them. But I am writing about them. Because they’re amazing. They’ve turned me into a goddamn fish.
Firstly, they’re super comfortable. The foot pocket is nice and soft, and overall they feel really light on your feet. After a while, you kinda don’t notice them; unlike other fins which can make you feel silly and cumbersome and ugly and fat. They also have these specially designed ‘strakes’ down the sides that give you more power and control. And they float! They’re made from high-grade, natural Malaysian rubber and they float. You can’t lose them in the drink.
DaFiN was developed in Hawaii by Andy Cochran, who’s one of Australia’s early surfing pioneers, with input from world renowned watermen Mark Cunningham and Brian Keaulana. Also, these suckers are the official swim fin of the United States Life Saving Association and the Hawaiian Lifeguard Association, so you know they work. To say these fins have improved my experience in the ocean would be an understatement. I’m like a fucking torpedo with these things on. Check ’em out!