Adidas Busenitz Pure Boost Pro


monster-children-adidas-chill

To celebrate a decade of his being on the brand, Adidas smushed Dennis Busenitz’s pro model together with the Pure Boost to make one skate-friendly lux chiller for downtime off the board—the Busenitz Pure Boost Pro. We here at the MC office are a little confused by this concept. Dennis Busenitz doesn’t actually “chill,” does he?

I thought that the dude just slept in his van outside of 3rd and Army, keeping his family in a luxury trailer home that he designed and built himself. The Busenitz family rises shortly before the sun. They do their stretches, then go out and forage for their breakfast. This happens with the utmost efficiency, and wordlessly. After breakfast, he takes the kids to school, goes out with the dog to push up hills for a few hours, hunt lunch, practice flatground at the speed limit’s pace, filling in the obligations of a pro skater’s talent when needed. Then he gets the kids from school, and teaches them the wonders of the world by reading them selections from Nietzsche and working with them on their kickflip front lips. Dennis then cooks everyone a marvelous three-course meal while simultaneously tinkering with one of his many carpentry projects, like a gazebo that folds up into a wallet’s size for increased familial comfort at outdoor contests. After putting everyone to bed, he probably skates for a few hours, does some light accounting, and reads Infinite Jest before waking up and doing it all again.

Humans like downtime. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure we need it. Busenitz doesn’t because he’s a superhuman. Which is why this pro chiller just doesn’t seem to fit. Is it like “bad” meaning “good,” or calling a fat guy “Tiny”? Don’t get me wrong, all of us down here at the office love them. I’m as comfy as a kitten in a gallon of pudding…but what about Dennis? What about what Dennis wants?

Sign up for the Monster Children Newsletter