Welcome to the new feature on our drop dead gorgeous website titled ‘Choice Cups.’ What the fuck is Choice Cups?
This series is all about that brown little bean that gets shredded to tiny-bits, that gives you sweet sensation every morning or evening once the hot or cold water gets added in. Yes – the answer is coffee. Now, you’re probably wondering why the hell MC are starting to feature coffee? Cause we all love it, we drink it everyday, and sometimes it’s the only thing saving us from a miserable existence and not going to print. Don’t thank God, don’t thank our founders, thank coffee for MC still getting into your hands late, every quarter. Shit, sorry boss, that was a bad joke.
I’m going to go ahead and claim I’ll try and do one coffee related post a fortnight and if we hit new levels of popularity and get on hypebeast we might take it to one post a month to make it even rarer and really raise our stock value.
Who the fuck am I? What credentials or credibility do I have to write about coffee? I’m just a coffee addict like yourself, going on 17 years of everyday coffee drinking now. I was first introduced to espresso coffee when my mumbo Italiano friends who I skated with took me to a local café on a Friday night after skating. I ate a delicious bowl of pasta and then was told that I was to drink an espresso to wash it all down afterwards. And that was it – I was forever hooked. Now I wake up everyday and the first thing that comes to mind besides tits and ass is coffee and cigarettes. How addicted am I; I gave blood 3 years ago and had a cup of coffee etched into my skin. You know how skaters have that tattoo where the skateboard is broken in half and it says “first love”? Well coffee is my first love and no, it’s never going to break my heart. Over my 17 year addiction, and thanks to skateboarding, I’ve been lucky to travel around the world and drink coffee in every continent with some amazing humans. One time in Columbia I woke up super early and had our driver drive me to a coffee farm deep in the mountains so I could hand pick my own beans, then came back and made everyone coffee. Sorry, that’s a total lie, but that’s the kind of shit I would beat off over if I was ever given the chance to do that.
Choice Cups will review coffee beans, roasters, coffee shops, cafés, and wherever else espresso coffee is served. So without further ado, we introduce to you our first review:
Dogwood Coffee Co
Dogwood Coffee Co is a small, quality-focused roaster based out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. I love the midwest, if you’ve never been you should pack your bags and go. Lots of real down to earth people, pretty girls who end up getting tainted by the attraction of bright lights of bigger cities afar, gritty suburban neighborhoods and great musicians, artist etc. Dogwood was started in 2010 by a bunch of friends who loved coffee and had the fine appreciation for quality, sourcing the best beans they could get their crafty hands on and making the best espresso and single-cup of joe your hard earned money could buy in the twin cities. I’ve never met these guys but I love them already, because they give a shit and I can tell they really care about every cup and bag of coffee that they offer to the customers. Fortune has it that Kevin, the warehouse manager, ordered some shit (I mean some amazing product) from our online store. The delivery address had Dogwood Coffee Co and BOOM!, I saw the light of possibility he’d send us some coffee to try. We gave him some promo-ables (free shit), I wrote a fake note with Erin’s name on it cause of course homie is gonna be more interested if a girl’s name is on it. A month had passed and everyday a package came in but no coffee. Then 2015 rolls around and we get a box that’s still frozen (it’s cold as shit in the midwest) and it’s bloody Kev who’s sent us 2 bags, some mugs and hilarious Prince and MC Hammer baseball cards. Good people and a sense of humor to match. Bloody legends!
My favorite out of the 2 bags they sent was the El Meridiano from Columbia. I’m no scientist and no taste bud connoisseur, so I’ll save you the bullshit words. The description is really accurate, that’s also why I love these guys, it’s no bullshit. Had I read it, tasted it and didn’t feel like it was honest, I’d be pissed. To make sure I had my head straight I made espresso with my Aeropress and had some friends come over and share the love. Pretty sure coffee was made to be shared with friends and family. I had my trusty chef friend Kris who has a really good taste buds and can accurately describe it in words and real english not Korengrish (which is what I speak) give it a try and the first thing he said was “It’s got a well rounded sweetness.” I couldn’t believe it, he nailed it within seconds.
I’ve also made this in single-cup pour over form thanks to my lovely neighborhood friend Amanda who gave me a portable pour over kit and it tasted bloody delicious. The cold brew I made was so cracked out you only needed a shot to give you anxiety about waking up and not remembering what you did last night or where you are.
Let’s talk about the packaging, as a magazine that enjoys the finer things in print, design, type, lettering, nerd shit. This was another reason I wanted to fuck this bag of coffee, because they had their packaging perfected to the last drip of ink. You want to know if these guys care? Check the photos. How many coffee brands do you see having indents on there company logo? I run my fingers over it and have an instant boner. They used real ink and stamps for the weight and ‘roasted on’ dates. And for the knock out punch, they are part of 1% for humanity. Good fucken humans that care for other humans.
If you made it all the way down here I feel sorry for you and apologize for wasting your valuable time.
If your coffee company would like to get reviewed, feel free to send us a baggie or two to: Monster Children – 3650 Eagle Rock Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90065 or email me at email@example.com
Oh, you didn’t think you’d get away without us plugging some bullshit did you? Well see that sick mug below? No, not the one on the left with everyone’s mate Jeff on it thanks to his superior christmas gift giving, but the one on the right. Buy that one here.
“DRINK COFFEE: do stupid thing’s faster with more energy” – Anomymous 60’s women
Photos shot on Leica C