‘Talk Story’ by Cole Barash


I like Cole Barash. I’ve only met him once, but I like him because a) he’s a nice dude, b) we have some friends in common who are also nice dudes, and c) his surname is Barash. Barash. Every time I type Barash a little red line appears under it. Barash. There it is again. You know why that red line is there? It’s there because Microsoft Word doesn’t recognize Barash as a name or word, and do you know why? I’ll tell you why– it’s because Microsoft Word is stupid. Maybe the Russian version of Microsoft Word would be able to identify Barash as a name (I mean, Barash sounds Russian, right?), but the U.S. version doesn’t, and that’s because it is racist.

Things are pretty tense right now between Russia and the rest of the World. Putin is flexing like crazy and the United Nations can’t do shit. The Malaysian Airlines thing was insane. If any other country had ties to the nitwits who shot that plane down, we’d be parachuting Humvees in and stomping the buggers into the dust. But you can’t fuck with Russia: they got the bombs. Putin didn’t even send his condolences to the twelve nations that lost citizens aboard that plane. Instead he violated a 1987 nuclear treaty by doing a bit of weekend missile testing. Obama wrote a letter and imposed some sanctions. Whoop-dee-do. But what else could he do? Putin has his finger on the big red button and, if you’ve read Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test you’ll agree, he’s a textbook psychopath.

We’re all definitely going to die soon; it’s happening. If you were thinking about starting a family, launching a new business, or doing something else that isn’t instantly gratifying–don’t. There’s no point. We’re all going to die very, very soon and there’s not a thing you can do about it. People are talking about the U.S. being drawn into another cold war with Russia, and I can tell you that’s not gonna happen. It’ll be an out-and-out red-hot war, and no one is going to win.

You’re probably reading this and thinking, ‘what the fuck has this got to do with Cole’s book, asshole?’ And I’d say, ‘Cole’s book isn’t called asshole, stupid.’ Then you’d say, ‘No, I was calling you asshole, asshole.’ And I’d say, ‘oh.’

Talk Story, by Cole Barash, is a self-published collection of Cole’s photographic work. The publication is perfect bound, soft covered, and limited to 555 copies. It was designed by Tucker Phillips and it will set you back $35.00. The photos are brilliant, the paper and print quality is excellent, and the format is superb. Talk Story is good, and I like it.

Now, where was I…Oh yeah–we’re all going to die. We are most definitely all going to die. I feel bad for Cole because you can tell he put an enormous amount of effort into making Talk Story, and now he and everyone on the planet is going to have the skin stripped from their bones by a bright, white thermal blast.

Talk Story is available at Dashwood Books, 33 Bond St. NYC. www.dashwoodbooks.com

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