On The Road. Day 7


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It’s interesting how quickly humans invent their own culture when they’re isolated. We have a language now. We had the making of a language on day 2, but now we have a complete dialect. No one understands us. Sometimes I don’t understand us. I can’t get into it now, but just know that we are speaking gibberish for one another’s amusement. I’ll tell you this: we’ve created a character that say’s ‘buttery’ all the time, like, ‘dude, this buffalo jerky is so buttery.’ Why am I telling you this?

We got up early on Day 7 and headed for Monument Valley. On the way there I paid $100 for a really cool ‘sterling silver’ ring that turned my finger green in under fifteen minutes. I was pissed. It was a really nice ring with what may or may not be turquoise embedded in it, but it’s unwearable. Why would anyone go to all the trouble of making a really nice ring with the full knowledge that no one will ever be able to wear it? That’s just bitter and twisted. I actually worked at a French restaurant with a gay couple everyone secretly called Bitter and Twisted. They were a crabby pair of queens, but they didn’t deliberately manufacture shiny disappointments for a living, they just carried on like tits.

Anyway, we went to Monument Valley (which was a trip), and then on to the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon is, as you would expect, amazing. We’ve all seen it in pictures and on TV, but nothing really prepares you for how epic it is. Joe is terrified of heights, so he sat back while Warren (aka The Goth Frog) and I took a perch precariously close to the edge and talked gibberish.

After an hour or so of staring out over the big hole, we jumped back in the car and sped back to Flagstaff where we’d been invited to a BBQ. At the BBQ we had a few beers and met some nice new people who let us eat their bratwurst. Then we went back to Jon’s pad and passed out. We were beyond exhausted. Jon is a champion. So is his ol’ lady, Jessica. Best hosts ever.

Tomorrow we finally get the Dart back and leave Arizona.

Next stop: Austin Texas!

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